2&3
THE ACHE.
1. I was hit in this chapter by the words of caution against well-intentioned leaders who are “quick to stand up to be a voice for the voiceless rather than being a voice with the voiceless.” Something I must check in on myself with. And something I need to be held accountable for.
2. When I read the words about if anything good could come from Nazareth, it reminded me of a beautiful poem I read last summer around this time that I would like to share with you. I love the way the author writes of the messiness of humanness… and the way the Holy Spirit breathes into our lives.
Can anything good come out of Nazareth? Come and see.
I was at a Christmas party last year.
& it was one of those ugly sweater Christmas parties.
Of course.
I was wearing this reindeer outfit.
Well, it was a unicorn costume originally
but i changed it into a reindeer for the party.
I was standing in the kitchen and this boy leaned over to me
& whispered all soft and romantically in my ear,
“Between you and me, you have lipstick on you teeth.”
I STARTED TALKING IN A REAL LOUD VOICE BECAUSE
I FELT AWKWARD AND EMBARRASSED,
WHICH SEEMS LIKE A SILLY WAY TO COPE WITH THE
SITUATION WHEN ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS
hide.I went to the bathroom and wiped all my lipstick off.
I have done this a lot in my life.
We all have.
See, we desire to leave our mark.
To be remembered,
To leave our handprint on the wet cement of life proving that we were here.
That we existed.
But as we walk along the sand we drag a branch behind us to wipe our footprints away.
Because BEING A HUMAN IS MESSY.
HAVING A BODY IS MESSY.
EXSISTING IS MESSY.
My friend Abigail came over for a slumber party last week.
And I washed my sheets to be hospitable of course, but also because earlier that week I laid in my bed
& wept for hours
& there was mascara all over my pillow.
I didn’t want her to see that I exist in a messy, mascara everywhere sort of way.
I am a woman
& every month I bleed.
& I am tired of carrying that around like a dirty secret.
Being a human is messy.
Existing is messy.
& I EXSIST.
I am messy.
I weep.
& bleed.
& have boogers that drain.
& sometimes if I laugh real hard I pee a little.
When we are ashamed & despise our bodies & the messy way we exist
we begin to despise the Holy Spirit that lives within these messy bodies.
Just as my womb doubles over in sorrow & pain
& cries tears of blood every month
for not being able to give life,
so does the Holy Spirit double over inside of us in sorrow & pain
for not being able to give us life when we try to be something other than who we truly are.
The Holy Spirit bleeds.
Just as our blood runs blue in our veins without oxygen so is the Holy Spirit turning blue inside us.
We don’t let her give us life.
We don’t let her breathe.
& she is bleeding.
The Holy Spirit is in our messy life.
In the messy ways we exist.
& she wants to ooze out.
In boogers.
Tears.
Sweat.
Blood.
Can anything good come out of this ordinary mess of being alive?
Come and see.
Let the Holy Spirit breathe,
hit the oxygen,
turn red,
IGNIGHT.
& LIGHT US ALL ON FIRE.
- Jacqueline Viola Moulton
3. “As we move closer to the suffering, the problems and struggles become our own. We have come to share the struggles of our neighbors on Potter Street…” Our neighbors are the guys and girls living down the hall from us. What ways can we move closer to the suffering of those near us, so their problems become our problems? So we see the work of Jesus on our campus through an authentic and organic care and compassion for our neighbors.
THE VISION.
Near the end of this chapter, many of the ideas are summed up in this statement by John: ” Proverbs 29:18 says, ‘Where there is no vision, the people perish’ (KJV). We need a hope for the future. The leader is the one who receives and carries this vision, articulates it and helps people embrace it as their own.”
Our vision in the SMC program is one of Community and the Love of Jesus. Each year, with the different make-up of SMC’s, RHMC’s, CSMC’s and Deb’s leadership the way those visions are articulated vary. Be praying for what comes of our training time in one month. Be praying for the specific visions you all receive for the make-up of students on your floor. Be praying for Deb, Sam, your RHMC’s and I as we continue to help you all on this journey this year. And know we are in prayer for you.
About a week into my year as an SMC I was reading Romans 12 and was hit by the picture of community in those words. That became my vision. To outdo one another in honor. To be inventive in hospitality.
I’m asking the Lord to sharpen our vision and keep preparing us as we get closer to returning to campus.
peace on you all.
hannah.
